Saturday Again

Cathy Monaghan · Post by **Cathy Monaghan** » Oct 23rd, '10, 15:24

A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood he started shouting in the middle of the show: "Look, it's not the same hat" "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table" "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades ?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was, after all, the captain's parrot.

One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot, of course. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and another and another. After a week the parrot said: "OK, I give up. Where's the boat?"

......the above was found on the FRAM building & sailing web pages.

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Oct 23rd, '10, 20:06

Yup, it's Saturday again. Wow, fast week yes? Time flies when yoi're having fun. Here's some more fun.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. Hee hee

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. Ha ha

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. Yuk, yuk

Why are barns so noisy? Because the cows have horns.

Please, have mercy, no more

Weeeeeell, maybe some more next Saturday.

We'll see.

Enjoy the weekend,
O J

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Oct 23rd, '10, 20:31

How about the two cannibals who were eating a clown, and one said to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Oct 23rd, '10, 20:40

OJ, what about the parsley farmer who got so behind in paying his income taxes and the IRS had to garnish his wages?

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Oct 23rd, '10, 20:54

.....the professor that discovered his theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

O J

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Oct 23rd, '10, 21:09

What about the scientist who had a problem mixing large batches of chemicals, fell in and became part of the solution?

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Oct 23rd, '10, 21:25

Neil, why do I have the feeling that certain people want to wring our necks. But first let me tell you about what I did.

I went to a seafood disco last week - - - and pulled a mussel.

Sheesh,
I don't think that I'll put my name on that one.

C'mon Sunday

Troy Scott · Post by **Troy Scott** » Oct 23rd, '10, 21:44

"Sailing - The fine art of getting wet and becoming ill, while going nowhere slowly at great expense (equivalent to standing in a cold shower, fully clothed, throwing up, and tearing up $100 bills, while a bunch of other people watch you)."

Well I'll have to say, that's not how we do it around here. Well, maybe once in a while. There is no throwing up allowed on our boats. We always pretend to have a destination. Sometimes we actually do. Most of us manage to have a good time without throwing too many hundreds at the boat, and we do try to look casual in case anyone is watching.

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Oct 24th, '10, 08:49

Hey, OJ...

It's almost Halloween... so...

What position does a monster play on the soccer team?

Ghoulie!!!

Cathy Monaghan · Post by **Cathy Monaghan** » Oct 24th, '10, 13:40

Flashlight - Tubular metal container used on shipboard for storing dead batteries prior to their disposal.

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Oct 24th, '10, 13:56

The poor guy got laid off from the cucumber processing plant and now he's in a pickle.

O J
Hey, wait a minute. Today's not Saturday.

Cathy Monaghan · Post by **Cathy Monaghan** » Oct 24th, '10, 14:18

How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?................ A Buccaneer!!!

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Oct 30th, '10, 06:20

Time is flying by. Phew.

Oh well.

Three old coots decided to go for a sail one day.

While moving along smartly, one old goat says to the other one, "Sure is Windy today."

The second geezer says, "Today's not Wednesday, it's Thursday".

The third sailor pipes up and says, "Yeah, I'm thirsty, too. Lets have a drink"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of blacktop paving on his shoulder.

The bartender says "What'll it be?"

The customer says "Gimme a cold beer and one more for the road":)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Since I won't be able to lighten up your day next Saturday, I hope to be in Harve de Grace, I'll throw an extra pun in today to get the jump on next Saturday.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A dyslectic guy walks into a bra - - -

Enjoy your weekend,

O J

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Oct 30th, '10, 08:11

Hey, OJ...

Did you know that the Bermuda Triange is actually a Wrecktangle?

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Oct 30th, '10, 08:49

Hey, OJ...

You know of course that the Chinese invented pasta. If not for Marco Polo, what would we be eating in Italian restaurants?

Anyway, did you also know that it was Chinese sailors who first developed junk food?

The Cape Dory Board

Saturday Again

The Captain's Parrot

Yup

He was like.....

I Don't Know But.....

Cathy wrote (quoted?)

I know it's not Saturday, but...

Another "sailing" definition...

Price of Pirate's Piercing

Saturday Again Already?