Wow, It's Saturday Already

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Nov 27th, '10, 01:21

A vulture carrying two dead racoons boards an airplane The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger".

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Indisputable Laws of Life:

Law of Mechanical Repair -
After our hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Ain't it so,
O J

Andy Denmark · Post by **Andy Denmark** » Nov 27th, '10, 06:48

OJ,

Your Law of Physical Surfaces brings to mind the definitive proof of Murphy's Law.

This proof is best conducted over new carpet or other hard-to-clean covering (thus link Murphy's Law to the Law of Physical Surfaces).

(1) Take 25 slices of bread and cover one side of all of them with peanut butter (jelly or honey will work, too)

(2) Flip them into the air as one would do when flipping a coin

(3) 24 or the 25 will land with the sticky side down

AND

(4) the 25th will be stuck to the ceiling!

I'm certain there are parallels to both of these Laws in sailing, usually predicated by comments such as, "I've never run aground here," or "surely 100 feet of rode is enough," or "we don't need to reef yet," or "it's not too cold to varnish," or "I think we have enough fuel to get there," or "why is the bilge water brown?"

There may be one or two others ...............
________
Home made vaporizer

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Nov 27th, '10, 07:40

In an experiment at a major university, the bread did in fact land jelly side up. The lab assistant was promptly fired for slathering the wrong side of the bread.

M. R. Bober · Post by **M. R. Bober** » Nov 27th, '10, 08:25

Back when I was studying statistics, it was found--in a then recent survey--that 9 out of 10 doctors, leaves one.

Mitchell Bober
Sunny Lancaster (where there is nothing standard about deviation) VA

Dean Abramson · Post by **Dean Abramson** » Nov 27th, '10, 09:26

Last night, burglars broke into our home and stole every single thing we own. Then, amazingly, they replaced everything with identical items!

D Rush · Post by **D Rush** » Nov 27th, '10, 10:55

I think the "Mythbusters" did a show in 2005 about Buttered Bread.
http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythb ... ab-06.html

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Dec 4th, '10, 16:20

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Law of probability:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

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Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"it's true, no bull" exclaims Daisy.

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Do I detect a little smile on your puss this Saturday afternoon? Don't be a grinch.

O J

Cathy Monaghan · Post by **Cathy Monaghan** » Dec 4th, '10, 16:31

....or not to...
<embed src="http://embed.break.com/1830425" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" width="464" height="376"></embed>

<embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/servic ... 1,mt=video" width="425" height="360" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always"></embed>

...another lesson to be learned regarding exceeding the load capacity of a vessel.

Cathy
CD32 Realization, #3
Rahway, NJ
Raritan Bay

wmbwalker · Post by **wmbwalker** » Dec 4th, '10, 22:31

What is the difference between a dog and a cat???

My dog looks at me and thinks, " he feeds me, shelters me and cares for me -- He must be God."

The cat looks at me and thinks, " He feeds me, shelters me and cares for me --I must be God!"

sfreihofer · Post by **sfreihofer** » Dec 5th, '10, 00:06

What's the difference between a Pickpocket and a Peeping Tom?

One snatches your watch....

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Dec 11th, '10, 15:24

Another week gone by already?
Time flies when you are having pun.

Okay, here we go.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "DAM!".

This is one of my favourites:
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.

After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why, "they asked", as they moved off. "Because", he said,

"I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer"

Hee hee, yuk yuk

That's a knee slapper.
Have a pleasant week.
O J
"

Cathy Monaghan · Post by **Cathy Monaghan** » Dec 11th, '10, 16:39

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Dec 12th, '10, 11:57

Just so that everyone can sleep well...

Know that mis-spelling "Apocalypse" is not the end of the world.

Oswego John · Post by **Oswego John** » Dec 18th, '10, 14:40

Woweez,

That was a quick week, eh?

The Law Of Random Numbers:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

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If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

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A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal".

The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan".

Years later , Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.

Her husband responds, "They're twins. If you've seen Juan,you've seen Ahmal.

Have a pleasant weekend, everyone.

O J

Neil Gordon · Post by **Neil Gordon** » Dec 18th, '10, 14:46

Why should you always invite mushrooms to your party?

Because they're fun guys!

The Cape Dory Board