On Board Guests

[Warren Kaplan]

I'm looking for opinions. I take my sailing very seriously. That's the way I really get to enjoy it. I can just lay back and let the wind take me where it wishes but I prefer to be tweaking sail trim, watching the mast head fly, the sail telltales and clearing the spaghetti out of the cockpit. I like that.

I have many age old and wonderful friends who we have invited aboard for a daysail. We do have a good time with them but I find that I often wind up separating myself from the conversation so I can tend to sailing. None of these guests are sailors and perhaps only one is even interested in the mechanics of what's going on. My CD27 cockpit gets kind of crowded and sometimes tacking the boat can be akin to a firedrill orchestrated by the Three Stooges.

Consequently, I prefer not to have guests on board who are not sailors or interested in sailing. I LOVE having other sailors on board because we can work the boat that much better all day without getting tired of it.

So...am I just an old curmudgeon or do some of you fellas harbor the same emotions?

[Marianna Max]

I'm a beginner but I would feel the way you do. I attend to the sailing even if I"m not the one doing it. If we talk, we do it while watching for craft. I can't imagine a person sitting in the 28 cockpit while we are tacking and them ignoring what was going on. Bleh

[Roy J.]

Warren,

You already know what type of curmudgeon you are, you're just trying to negotiate the price. We have solved the non-sailor, social event problem by inviting people out onto the boat for cocktails after we arrive back at the mooring. For some friends who are either fearful or prone to seasickness, this is a perfect solution. This works for us because we have summer-long, unlimited launch service. We call from the cell phone to confirm our arrival time, guests show up at the dock, tell the launch driver they are visiting Auburn, we lay out snacks and beverages and socialize. Since they aren't sailors, they don't miss the sailing. We could also pick them up at the dock ourselves if necessary. If the logistics work for you, try this. Our rule of thumb is that sailing should be fun for everone on board, and this is our latest solution.

Happy sails,

[Oswego John]

Hi warren,

I have an opinion on this. You, like many others, work hard at your profession all week. The precious time away from work has to be shared with family and other obligations. When it's time to go sailing, you want to enjoy that time to it's fullest.

I have found , during my working days, that pursuing a hobby that I enjoyed acted as a safety valve which released everyday pressures that would build up within me.

It doesn't matter what a person's choice of extramural activity happens to be, golf, flycasting, ballroom dancing, landscape painting, whatever. To reach the fullest enjoyment, a person must penetrate deeply into his chosen source of relaxation.

What golfer doesn't want to improve his score? What tennis player doesn't want to improve his serve or backhand control? What novice skier wants to spend all his days on the bunny slope? It is only natural for a sailor to strive to attain the zenith of sailing perfection, whether racing or cruising.

I was told at an early age that if I ever wanted to excel at anything, I must try to do it with people better than myself. However, there were times that I took certain people sailing and they got hooked by it. Today they are confirmed sailors. So I guess that somewhere, things have a way of balancing themselves out.

So I guess that my opinion boils down to this, use your time wisely, sail solo or with savvy sailors whenever possible. Bite the bullet when it is time to offer the obligatory invitation to nonsailors and point out the joys of sailing to them. If you want to hook someone on sailing, ask them to help you by taking the tiller for a bit and let them sense the power and control.

It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.

O J

[RMeigel]

The more years I sail, the less I'm in the business of giving people boat rides. If I wanted to do that, I'd offer myself for hire as a driver for the "Jungle Ride" at Disneyworld.

The suggestion about coctails at the dock for landlubbers is a good one.

Robin

[Mark Yashinsky]

Honestly to yourself, rate your guests on how adventurous they are, how well they take orders, how mechanically inclined they, etc. Also, dont take that many, else get a bigger boat.
Those that rate high at these, even if they know nothing about sailing and boating, try your hand at TEACHING, and teach them about sailing. MAKE IT FUN!! You could get others into sailing and might get bitten by the Cape Dory bug.
Those that dont score that high, then take easy sails w/ your partner along and you two do the work and take it easy. Before thing are about to happen, explain what is about to happen, tell them where to move to, you two execute the manuver, then tell them everything is done and relax.
Those that dont even rate, meet them for drinks on board, afterwards.
FYI, When I go out on a certain persons Cape Dory, I start tweaking things on his boat, so its a nasty little bug we have.

[John D.]

My non-sailing guests SAY they just want to sit back, relax, and enjoy the view. But they have displayed an uncanny knack for energetically moving around to as to obscure the depth finder display when I'm near shoals, the winches and tiller when I'm tacking, and the compass pretty much the whole time.

I've been thinking of installing seats on the rear pulpit to keep them out of the way, but I wonder how that will affect boat trim.

[Clay Stalker]

Hi Warren

I am with Roy J. on this. I seldom take out non-sailing guests, and if I do (under duress, relatives etc.) I make the voyage short. I am fortunate to have enough sailing freak friends who don't own boats (and some that do) that I almost always have good company. The others? Like Roy, cocktails on the mooring. They think they're sailing as we bob around on the mooring...and the view in Bristol Harbor is very nice...and they go home, and I have peace....it's all beautiful. I am with you!

Clay Stalker

[Neil Gordon]

From my point of view, you have to involve your guests in the action. Instead of individual sport, make it a team sport. Find a clorox bottle boat that's lighter and of more modern design and engage your crew to help leave them in your wake. Tell them what you're doing and why and let them see the effect of both your strategy and your tactics.

Look at it this way.. if you ask a friend to move from a comfy spot just so that *you* can go faster, they get annoyed. But if they're asked to sit on the rail with a cleat beneath them, they'll do it enthusiastally if it makes *them* go faster.

On the other hand, if they're not interested in helping you "race", get different friends.

[RMeigel]

Involving the non sailing guests in the action only goes so far.

I had three novice guests this past Sunday. Glorious sailing weather - they have no idea how lucky they were - I engaged them in all the usual ways - hauling on lines, teaching knots, taking turns steering, explaining charts.

BUT, non sailors that they were, toward the end of the day they preferred to just sit back and enjoy the boat ride. When it came time to take the sails down they were not able to keep the boat in the wind and it was safer for me to engage the auto pilot for ten minutes in order to get the sails down!

Robin

[Clay Stalker]

As much as I would like to see the sport (hobby) of sailing grow, I am aware that it simply does not appeal to a lot of people...I have not had much luck in getting folks enthused....they either have the passion or they don't (most don't, like my loving wife...that's another story... All it takes is one blustery day and the interest is gone and the fear of healing sets in....it may be too much to ask for folks to delve into the physics of it all...that's why power boats are so damn popular....so for the rest of us, we just have to sail on.....gas is becoming prohibitively expensive, so maybe sailing will catch back on.....imagine that!

Clay Stalker

[Neil Gordon]

[quote="RMeigel"] When it came time to take the sails down they were not able to keep the boat in the wind and it was safer for me to engage the auto pilot for ten minutes in order to get the sails down!/quote]

I'm just thinking about the crew overboard thread. If they can't hold the boat into the wind (something the boat sort of likes to do by itself, anyway), how would they pick you up if you went over the side? I suppose we need to assess the skills our guests have and define single handling accordingly.

[Carter Brey]

I share the frustration expressed by many here with the drawbacks of sailing with the inexperienced. After all, we know that sailing solo holds out the gifts of quiet personal satisfaction and a peculiar kind of peaceful connection with wind and water, beneath or beyond words, that is hard to find in our lives as busy professional people. Those gifts can be obscured by the repeated requests to move away from the winch or to get that fat butt off the jib sheet or the quixotic attempts to explain in gentle, precise English from the foredeck, as one holds the mooring line against the bow chock, just what a mainsheet is and why and how it needs to be sheeted into its cam cleat.

There was one time, however, that I was happy to share those gifts with a friend who was going through a bad patch. It was just exactly a year ago. This man's wife had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, his little girl (a classmate of my own daughter) was having difficulty in school and his teenaged son was in trouble for drugs.

We took Mary Ellen out for an evening sail and the elements combined to provide the most perfect anodyne to this man's troubles that I can imagine. An eight-knot breeze took us out onto the Sound as the sun lowered in a spectacular show of mellow gold and purple-- I'm tempted to call it a benediction, it was so theatrical in its splendour.

My friend did little more than hold the sailboat on her course while we reached easily back home, and we spoke very little, but his emotional easement was palpable as we returned to the anchorage after dark. It was one of the best sails I've ever had, and part of that was the knowledge that the magic that gets me out on the water at every opportunity had affected another soul in just the way I had hoped.

Chaplinesque coda: as I tied up at the dock to retrieve a dink, I slipped and fell into the water. It was a testament to the lasting force of the magic moment that I didn't let my dunking spoil the day for me. And my friend got a good laugh at the sight of his fancy-schmancy musician pal clambering back up onto the dock looking like a piece of raw sewage on legs.

CB

[Clay Stalker]

Nice, Carter, don't stop sharing, you are truly a piece of work!!

Clay

[RMeigel]

Awwwright, Carter. Go ahead, disrupt the flow. I for one was basking in the revelation that there was a support group for ME out there.

But, I suppose under the circumstances it can be revealed that yours truly has been known to volunteer with CRAB - http://crab-sailing.org/ If you don't have a similar organization in your area, you might consider starting one up!

Robin