He Wouldn’t Drink the Water

[John Stone]

A 37’ sloop anchored near me the other day. I chatted across the water to the skipper who was standing on the foredeck. He was single handing. He buzzed over in his dinghy a little later and asked if I wanted to come over for a beer. “Sure” I said.

The boat was Canadian registered. But the skipper was clearly not native Canadian. He was about my age. He claimed he was a Romanian. My instincts told me maybe not. All my training said he was Russian. Either way, being that he was at least 60 years old he clearly had lived under the iron hand of the Soviets. He was a nice guy. Interesting life story. Said he immigrated to Canada after the fall of the Wall. He had good things to say about the US. So I asked him why he went to Canada and not the US. He said the Americans would not give him a visa. We chatted on for a couple hours. Very interesting conversation. But, it was kinda weird. He held his cigarette vertically between his fingers like you might hold up a golf ball to inspect. He would say in his thick Soviet, uh I mean Russian er Romanian accent “John, John zees is vat I sink....”. My years of military training kept kicking in. I found myself surreptitiously feeling my hip for my KBar. Damn, nothing....

Anyway, I invited him over the next day to the Far Reach. I had just finished applying the first of two coats of varnish to the cockpit coamings so we sat below in the saloon. It was a warm day. I put out cheese and crackers and offered him a drink but he declined. So we talked for awhile. I noticed he looked hot and was sweating so I got a glass of water for him and even put ice in it. I put the glass on the table in front of him but he never took a sip. I drank my water and refilled it and drank that too. I could see the perspiration on his brow. We chatted for another 30 min. He never sipped the water. It just sat there...the ice slowly melting. Finally, he said he need to take care of some tasks and thanked me for inviting him over. He climbed down into his dinghy and off he went back to his boat.

But I couldn’t get over the fact he didn’t drink the water even though he was obviously hot. Then I remembered.

Can you guess why?

[Jim Walsh]

Giardia has frequently been found in Russian tap water. Normally they only drink bottled water.

[John Stone]

Dong! Wrong! Anyone want to try movies for 500?

[fmueller]

Russians don't typically put ice in water ... kind of like Germans and warm beer. But they do a lot of ice water swimming. Go figure !

[John Stone]

Negative Ghost Rider.

[psjanker]

Would only drink if he was smoking and didn’t want to smoke on your boat?

Pete

[John Stone]

No. That’s not it either....

[Vincent]

Cmon dad, stop teasing us. What’s the answer, why no water for the Russian?
And keep that Kbar handy.

[Sea Hunt Video]

My years of military training kept kicking in. I found myself surreptitiously feeling my hip for my KBar. Damn, nothing....

Yes, John "Nothing" because your KBar is attached to your weight belt, remember Yet another reason to not have it on your weight belt when you may get cross ways with a Russian.

Remember Rule 9 - "never go anywhere without a knife"

As for the water, Russians are called "Crazy Ivans" for reason. Who the he[double hockey sticks] knows why he didn't drink the water. Whatever reason he gave you the chances are 90% it's made up.

[John Stone]

Damn Roberto, you are right about the weight belt. It was like a bad dream.... but to be fair, I did have a knife—my 3.5” folding Gerber. You remember, the knife I lost in Deadman Bay Peter Island in 2016 and my sister recovered in 30’ of water. It is, however, a sad substitute for a Marine KBar.

Nonetheless, KBar or not, there is a clear answer why the Russian did not drink the water....

[tjr818]

He didn't want to leave finger prints and/or leave any DNA???

[csoule13]

Because the water wasn't vodka, of course.

[John Stone]

Wrong! Come on now. Think. The Cold War. Russians. B52s. Nuclear Armageddon. The War Room.

[John Stone]

Because the water wasn't vodka, of course.

That’s close. But you have to be more specific. What’s the context of why he would not drink the water.

[Ben Miller]

Wrong! Come on now. Think. The Cold War. Russians. B52s. Nuclear Armageddon. The War Room.

P.O.E?